Love is an Orientation 3

I apologize for the long blog posts.  I am processing this stuff as I go and writing about it helps me clarify what I believe.  I hope it is helping you do the same.

Note: I think what I like about Andrew Marin’s book, Love an Orientation, is that he is presenting a third way.  A non-dual approach that is not dependent on the “right or wrong” dichotomy.  It helps that I was coming at this book from that perspective, because I think Andrew’s approach will drive you nuts if you want him to come out a give you clear “for” or “against” opinions.  He is for the person.  He is for God through Jesus.  His approach mainly says, the only hope is Jesus.

I’m not going to talk about this, but in this chapter, Andrew talks about the use of the word “homosexual.”  This is a derogatory word to the GLBT community.  It is the equivalent of nigger for the African-American community.  If we as Christians care about moving forward and finding a third way, we will cease and desist the use of this word.

In Chapter 3, Andrew discusses: Stigma, Shame, and Politics.

Andrew talks about what I would call a double bind for anyone with same-sex attractions.  Gay and Lesbian people are given predominantly given two options by society.  A) Live up to a Christian ideal they find impossible to do (for Christians this is the only option to continue participating in the church)  OR B) come completely out of the closet and be “okay” with it (this is becoming more acceptable in society).

To a large percentage of the GLBT community, neither is a good option! And taking “neither” as the option is miserable.  BTW, living up to a Christian Ideal doesn’t sound like a good option to me either.  It sounds like Phariseeism.

So, those with same-sex attractions then never find a home.  They are constantly living a lie.  With the straight community, they are trying to act straight, so they aren’t “found out.”  With the GLBT community, they are trying to act gay, because they are supposed to, right?  In reality a lot of people don’t fit either category.

Andrew brings up the fact that 37% of the USA claim to be Christians.  1% to 7% admit to same-sex attraction.  Of the other 60% or so, the majority are still anti-same sex relationship and behavior.  If you don’t believe these statistics just think about California voting to overturn the decision to allow same-sex marriage.  CALIFORNIA!!!  The most blue state of states still has a majority of people who are anti-same sex marriage.

So, people with same sex attraction are a gigantic minority.  The Stigma and Shame of having those attractions is overwhelming.  The overwhelming perspective of society is that one should feel shame for their same sex attractions – both Christian society and non-Christian (however you define those).

The GLBT community has looked to politics for validation.  In the 60’s and 70’s the GLBT community decided to stand up for themselves as they were being abused. It became a civil rights issue.  And, unfortunately, Christians have taken the “against” side of the political debate.  We don’t want legal privileges to be given to those with a GLBT orientation,  because we are fearful of what that would mean for society at large.  A common fear being, “the GLBT community will take over schools and start teaching my kids that its okay to be gay,” or worse, “they will make my kids gay.”  The effect for the GLBT community is “Christian” equals against, or hate, or worse, violence.

From Love is an Orientation, “To those involved in the political battle, Jesus Christ is not God’s only Son who came to dide to forgive all of their sins but rather a rationalization for subjugation.  Cultural relevance is the key to systemic change, and if Christians are thought of as dead or irrelevant we have no tangible means to then make a systemic difference within our culture.”  (page 56)

My perspective is this.  I can communicate a point of view that is against the GLBT orientation – both identity and behavior – and accomplish absolutely nothing except entrenchment.

First, the GLBT community has completely shut down to this mode of operation.  They have stopped participating in that conversation.

Second, I communicate God hates (worst) or dislikes (best) anyone processing a GLBT orientation.

From an Arminian perspective, I don’t believe God hates or dislikes anyone.  I believe God operates first and foremost from LOVE.  If I am communicating the “against” position, I am not making space for the GLBT community to even begin to explore life with Christ – individually or corporately.  I also believe regeneration and sanctification are a process of justification, not necessary for salvation.  So, denying the GLBT community the space to explore God in Jesus Christ, closes off the opportunity for them to come to Jesus and begin a sanctifying relationship with him.

I think the Reformed perspective would agree that God chooses whom he will.  It is not the Christians job to do that.  It is the Christians job to present the Gospel in love.   I think Andrew is coming from this perspective (I am assuming, and could be wrong).  Andrew quotes Andy Crouch, author of Culture Making, and says, “Christians don’t change culture by critiquing culture, they change culture by making culture.”  This is a reformed perspective.

By being against, we represent neither perspective.

This is why I think “full embrace” of the GLBT community is necessary.  It is ultimately not my job to convict or transform the GLBT person.  That is God’s job.  Am I affirming the GLBT communities behavior by doing that?  I don’t think I am either affirming or not affirming.  I am introducing people to Jesus and allowing him to communicate with them.  I trust that He has the power to do that.

This is what trips up Christians.  “When do we get to tell them they are wrong?” we say.   Well, my experience as a pastor is that no matter who you are, whether you are gay, straight, Christian or non-Christian, until you invite me into your life in an authoritative way, it doesn’t matter what I say.  If someone comes to me about marital problems, I have to determine if they just me to listen or if they are inviting me to give them advice.  I usually ask, literally, “do you want to hear advice or do you just need an ear?.”  It amazes me sometimes that people come to me, ask for advice, listen to what I have to say, and then go do the exact opposite of my advice.  It just is what it is.  I learned really quickly to get over it.  It is God’s job to reveal himself, not mine.  Sometimes he uses me as an instrument of that revelation, but most of the time, I have no part in it.  This can be very disheartening for the Christian.  But, I have come to revel in the Power of God when I am not used.  I preach about 45 to 50 times a year and realize that a small percentage of my words have much impact on people.  The biggest impact I have is on the people that want relationship beyond the sermon.  The people I am walking through life with in a mentoring or discipleship role.  God has grabbed them, revealed himself to them, and I get to come along for the ride.  My pride wants it to be more about me and my effectiveness, but almost everyday, I realize I have little to do with it.

The most effective thing for my church or myself to do is to create safe spaces for people to engage God and experience the life changing living Word of God.  Both written and given.  Reading, studying, listening to, hearing, and acting upon God’s voice is the key.  One can’t do that if we hide Jesus from them.  Or require something before they get access to him.